Slightly Sedated Slumber
by A-Crimson-Evil
Summary: Some things seem like they were just meant to happen. It was an average day that Axel found the boy in the dress. Things, it seemed, would never be the same.
1. The Beginning

Author's Note: Yay! My first fanfic! I'm just so excited to be writing my idea down, finally. But, first, I have to make sure of some stuff…

Warning: This Fanfic may possibly contain, or end up containing: Yaoi, bad language, minor violence, and conflict. For now, it is meant for T. It may become M later, but not right now. I'll make sure to warn you all if anything happens.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or anything related to Kingdom Hearts. If I did, the world would be a much happier place. And Axel wouldn't have died. (

Summary: Some things seem like they were just meant to happen. It was an average day that Axel found the boy in the dress. Things, it seemed, would never be the same.

And now, on to our feature presentation!

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_A scattered dream that's like a far-off memory_

_A far-off memory that's like a scattered dream_

_I want to line the pieces up,_

_Yours and mine._

Axel had been having a very, _very_ bad day. First, his damn water heater was still broken, after his little… episode with it. But, hey! It was the damn thing's own fault for not being hot enough! Jeez, if Demyx didn't want things broken, he shouldn't leave steel rods around when Axel was angry at something! In Axle's mind, it wasn't his fault at all.

So, his shower had been cold. Axel didn't really like taking showers, seeing as it was being covered in his least favorite element. He'd take them; a lot actually for hygiene, but only if they were hot. This morning, he'd stumbled into the shower, still a little sick from his hangover, and turned on the shower to find it cold. He'd yelled so loudly, even Demyx had woken up. Dem ran down the hall way and decided punching Axel would make him shut up. Of course, then Axel had gotten _really_ pissed. Jesus, it wasn't his fault he'd broken the kid's nose! It was practically self defense!

So, not only did he have to throw on some clothes, while soaking wet, and take Demyx to the hospital. Oh, oh, it didn't end there. Demyx was making him pay the medical bills! Him! The Victim of this situation! Axel had gotten so mad; he'd stormed out of there, taking the car. Demyx could catch a bus for all he cared, the no good, rotten backstabber.

Axel needed a break. He seriously just needed to get away, or he was gonna kick the first damn ass of some unlucky stranger. He started driving, with only his cell phone and credit card. He didn't know where he was going, but he wasn't going to come back until things started going right. That had been two days ago, and Demyx hadn't even called. No one had called, not really.

_It's like no one even cares I'm missing_, Axel thought, feeling a little dejected. _Aren't people supposed to come after you when you run away? Isn't that… the point?_

_I mean, no one would run away if it meant being so… alone._

Somehow, being alone seemed very familiar to Axel, in ways he couldn't say he understood. Growing up, he'd always been completely surrounded by people. His mom used to joke that she 'didn't trust him to be alone.' Then he'd gone to college and gotten a room mate, Demyx, although really, he'd known Demxy most of his life. The mullet haired idiot would never leave 'em alone either. Though, even when he was surrounded by people, he was never… the people. He stood out. He normally acted 'real proud of it, but it was hard to be so alone, around so many people.

Sighing, Axel looked out the window of the cheap hotel room he'd rented. He wasn't probably going to stay much longer. He'd leave soon; he just needed to heal his sore ego first. Axel stretched his long legs, groaning a little bit. The tall, almost skeletal man (He'd often been described as a stick at best, anorexic at worst) watched the sea. His hotel was seaside, but cheap, with a lot of cockroaches.

It wasn't actually even that far from his town, Twilight Town. Really, he was only about…3ish hours from the town. He was staying in a small fishing town, Sunrise Shores, a town that was much like its name. Being on a peninsula, they saw both they sunrise and the sunset over the water. Axel thought the sunset was probably the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, at least over the water.

The town, though it was small, also got a lot of tourists. Axel really didn't go out on the beach that much during the day because of his incredibly fair skin. For the last two days, though, he always came out for the sunset. Stretching once again, the temperamental man sauntered down towards the beach.

What he saw, when he got closer to the beach, was not the same as what he'd been seeing for the last two days.

Now, the sunset was just as beautiful and brilliant as it always was. The clouds radiantly hung around the sky, like scarves over a beautiful golden queen. The dying sun seemed to have the whole sky flaming and bright. However, Axel had looked down. On the shore was a roughly built canoe, if you could even call it that. In the canoe, a girl lay, with golden hair like the dying sky. She wore a light pink slip of a dress. One hand rested in the water, dragging and creating small ripples in the ocean water.

On the back of her dress, were _blood stains_.

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Short, but it was a bit more like a prolog. I actually want to do most of it in 1st person, just switching views. Cliffy! 


	2. Chapter 1

Author's Note: So, like I said I was going to do, I started writing this chapter in 1st person POV. This is Axel talking, in case you couldn't tell. Thanks so much for the reviews! I do so love them. –Hinthinthint- I mean, I tend to write faster when I get reviews. P

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, I would be rich, and I wouldn't be writing this at all.

_On the back of her dress, were __blood stains_

I ran down to the edge of the water, scared to death that I'd been a… a… witness! Yeah, a witness to a murder! Oh, God! They would mark me as a suspect! No one would be able to give me an alibi! I'd mysteriously disappeared! Dem would tell them I refused to pay his medical bills! He'd convict me, the bastard! Damn, I was so doomed.

Still, I'm not a bad guy. The poor little girl could've still been alive. I like to think that maybe someone would try to rescue me if I was half dead in an alley with Larxene's knives in my back. Why Larxene, you ask? Because, my friends, my fellow victims, Larxene will someday rule the world. She'll rule the world with her P. P. Power. For you common people, that means Pesky Period Powers. Every time that girl P.M.S's, she kills at least three people. Apparently, I get on her nerves, and she's threatened to kill me. Alas, only my good looks and brilliant charm have kept me alive. Someday, she will kill me. It's this painter's fate, however tragic that may be.

Anyhow, point is, if I'm ever half dead in an alley, I'd like for someone to keep me alive. So, I would attempt to rescue this poor little girl, with her pretty blonde hair, and her pale skin. Hmm… if only she was a guy, she'd be totally edible, and I don't mean cannibalism. Just my luck, her being a… girl. Eww. Girls. Icky.

I mean, don't get me wrong, they're good for some things, like cooking, and baking, and cleaning stuff, and stabbing people… but jeez, who could ever do one of them? That's just… unnatural! Gay Pride, my friends. I am happy to say I'm as flaming as my hair, and that, my friends, is hard to match.

I finally reached the girl and her little canoe. (People, have you ever tried to run on sand? Takes forever and a half.) I tripped a couple of times, but I managed to pull the boat out of the water, so she wouldn't float away.

I put my hand in front of her mouth and received a small blow of air. Good, she was alive. No one could blame me for murder, yet. Gently, or as gently as a weird 'circus freak' of an anorexic gay guy like me can be, I lifted her out of the boat and onto the sand. Aside from the cut she had in her back, which I found out wasn't even that deep, she appeared to be fine. I was pretty sure she wasn't even in coma or anything cool like that. The blonde girl was just… asleep. Unconscious? Whatever that fucking word is. I'm an artist, not a librarian. You can't seriously expect me to remember how to spell.

It took forever to walk on sand, but I finally reached the hotel room, while carrying the girl. I figured I really didn't need to go to the hospital, because she would probably wake up any time now. Plus, I'll admit it, I'm cheap. Gas is expensive. I'm just a poor, lowly College Freshman who can barely afford to pay his rent because his IDIOT of a ROOMATE doesn't pay his share. I mean, and I'm an artist. Isn't that radical? I'm probably the best artist I know. I mean, come on, I'm awesome! Got it memorized?

I opened my door and laid the girl down on a bed. The way the sunlight hit her hair send rays of light into my eyes. She was beautiful, and once more I wished she was a guy. I wondered what color eyes she had. My guess would be brown. Most blondes like that aren't natural, and they have the annoying brown eyes that don't really match.

She really inspired me, in her slumber, and I couldn't help but get out my sketchpad. I sighed, running a pale hand through my fire truck red hair. Oh, yeah, did I mention? I've got red hair and not that horrible excuse for 'red' but RED. I mean, RED RED. Not just red. Got it memorized?

I was hesitant about sketching her. She couldn't be more than 16, and she looked a little bit short. She might already think I was her kidnapper, and if I sketched her, she'd be even more suspicious. Still… the artist in me wanted to paint so badly it started to hurt. With grim satisfaction, I set up a stand and got to work.

The ugly hotel bedspreads paled in comparison to her ivory skin, which shone almost as gold as her hair in the setting sun. I painted her lithe figure first, only to be confused by her lack of chest. Was she underdeveloped? Poor thing, she'd never get a boyfriend with that flat of a chest. Still, she was beautiful and she was my muse for the day, and that's all that mattered.

The drawing turned out great. With her short blonde hair spread out on the pillow, and her soft pink mouth slightly open, she looked almost like sleeping beauty. If I was a poet, I could write thousands and thousands of pages of shit about the color of her hair, and the texture of the dress. But, I'm not a fucking loser poet. I'm an artist. Give me a break.

I finished the painting and set it aside with a bit of a leap in my heart. Man, this girl, even with her flat chest, almost made me want to be straight. I sighed, thinking about her. You just didn't get that kind of beauty in people anymore. It was sad. All of the girls, and some of the boys, covered their faces in crappy makeup. Everyone wanted to be Goth, or a poser. The guys flaunted their sexuality in other's faces. The girls pushed their boobs out at you. I wished I'd been alive back when that kind of shit wasn't around. I mean, I may be gay, but I don't go around wearing the word on my forehead. God, people these days.

I had just packed up all of my art when a small thump was head behind me. I just about three feet, cursing, and I turned around. The girl was getting up from the floor, rubbing her eyes sleepily. Apparently, she'd fallen out of her bed or something. Oh well, she was awake now.

"Morning, princess," I cooed at her, and she looked up in surprise. Surprise quickly turned to fear, and then to anger. She grabbed the cheap lamp from the bedside of the table and held it out threateningly.

"Don't come near me, you bastard. You'll never take me back to my father!" she yelled, in a surprisingly masculine voice. Then she swung the lamp at me, and I had to jump back a couple of feet, running into a wall and hitting my head on the wall.

"What the fuck is your problem? I never did anything! I found you in some kind of fucking boat at the side of the sea! God, girls!" I yelled, dodging blows from the cheap lamp. The girl stopped trying to massacre me and looked really confused for a couple of seconds.

"I made it? I'm free? I'm FREE! WOOOOOOO! YES!" she started to scream, and then hugged me, and we both spun around and around until I felt sick.

"Dude, err… girl, you have some serious issues," I muttered, trying to make the room stop spinning. This girl had problems. I should've taken her to the hospital after all.

She looked at me oddly then, tilting her head and looking totally edible again. Her confused was painted clearly on her face, like a masquerader's mask. What had I said to make this girl so confused?

"Huh?" she asked, scratching her hair, which was surprisingly spiky, almost pointy, when it wasn't wet or spread out on a bed. "I'm not a girl," she said, her voice laced with confusion.

Wait.

He?

Well slap my ass and call me Stacy, I've died and gone to heaven. Halleluiah praise the lord, this man can be gay yet!

And that's about enough for now. ) Next chapter will be in Roxas's POV, so look forward to it!

-Crimson


	3. Chapter 2

Gah, it's been so long since I've written anything for this story. Sorries. ( Writer's block is a bitch. Oh well, enjoy the next chapter. And thanks to reviewers!

Oh, and I lied, this chapter's still Axel.

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"_I'm not a girl."_

After a few minutes of confusion, exasperation, and a lot of funny looks, I finally got it around my 'thick' head that the little blondie was actually a guy. Pshaw, I knew it as soon as he told me, I just liked having fun with him. After all, any guy who dressed up as a girl deserved a little teasing on my part. It was good for him, after all.

"Ok, Ok, so you're a guy. Gotcha. One question then, why did you wear that dress? And why pink? Pink's not your color, you look like a fucking peach. Heh… Princess Peach. I think that's a lovely nickname," I mulled, lazily lying on one bed in the hotel room while blondie leaned against one of the walls, looking emo.

He raised a thin eyebrow at me and snorted in a careless kind of way. Did I mention what I little ray of sunshine he turned out to be? Yelled, cussed, and kicked me about a million times while I teased him about being a girl. Still, it was kind of hot, he looked pretty damn good in a dress.

"If I'm a princess, then you can be the village idiot," he snorted, and ran a hand through his hair, although it did nothing to make it any neater. The guy was like a fucking porcupine. I guess I shouldn't be talking, though. Nothing can make my hair flatten. The thing sticks up in practically every direction you could think of. North, South, East, West, Weest, N-South. You name it.

I just chuckled at his insult and looked at him again, shaking my head and laughing. "Fine, then, do you actually have a name?" I asked curiously, leaning my head against the bed and closing my eyes for a moment, seeing pretty colors and designs against my eye lids.

There was a long, strained pause. I knew he was probably thinking about whether or not he should lie. Something obviously wasn't right here, but I wasn't going to push him for an answer or explanation. I didn't want to make him tell me anything he didn't want to. It'd be too hypocritical, really.

"Roxas Stone," he finally answered a little feebly with a sigh. I could tell he'd answered truthfully, because he glared at me as if asking me to question him or call him out on his name.

"Roxy, I like it. Got a nice ring to it. Hey, Roxy, how old are you anyway?" I asked again, ignoring his look of distaste at the nickname I'd bestowed on him. I couldn't help it, nicknaming was my game, and since I'm practically good at everything, I knew it would stick. So long Roxas, hello to Roxy.

"17, you?" he answered, and stared at me curiously. Have I mentioned his eyes yet? I can't remember. Anyhow, he has these HUGE baby blue eyes. I swear, he's like a catalogue kid. Those things are beautiful. I keep finding myself get lost in 'em.

"22," I answered nonchalantly. I really didn't think age matters all that much in life. I had a couple of buddies who are around 40. I've heard of people being friends with those old things in nursing homes who are actually still considered human. I'm glad I'll never be old.

"College?" he asked, and I could tell he was curious. I raised an eyebrow at him a little sarcastically, but I decided to knock off the games and just answer without giving him a hard time.

"Uh-huh. I major in Art," I paused, "Actually, I really should be heading back there right about now. My room mate's gonna start getting worried, the little bastard," I told Roxy, and nodded absently.

This brought other things to mind. When I'd asked him early if I could give him a ride home, he refused completely. He'd told me he was gonna go find a job, rent an apartment, or maybe he'd just stay here. I was confused though. Shouldn't a kid like him still be in high school? It wasn't summer yet, after all.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to leave him here, but I didn't want to get too attached. After all, we weren't exactly friends. I'd just met him a while ago. I sighed. Still, a kid like him shouldn't be by himself. He'd get raped in seconds if he went into a city, especially in a dress like that.

Demyx likes to tell me I have a conscience hidden somewhere in this thick red hair of mine. Of course, I disagree. It's only a coincidence that stray animals sometimes home to our part of the house until I can give them to other people. After all, anyone would open a door to strays, it's practically common courtesy. It's not my fault I don't want to feel responsible if one of them would end up being road kill the next day. Still, Roxas was a totally different kind of stray, and I wasn't so sure about him. Still…

"Kid, you want somewhere to stay?"

* * *

It was a pretty long drive in-land, but the kid had fallen asleep pretty soon after we started driving, so at least it wasn't awkward silence. I turned on the Jazz station pretty softly and tried to pay attention on the road, not the cute sleeping kid next to me. 

About the station, I bet you're all wondering "Jazz? WTF?!?" Well, excuse me, but I happen to like Jazz. Back in high school, I played the Sax in our jazz band. I was pretty good, even if I didn't really like it all that much. I mean, Sax was alright, but I would've preferred doing some more art classes. I grew to love Jazz, though, and I still do, although it isn't my absolute favorite. Mostly I listen to rock, a little bit of pop, and a whole lot of punk. Don't ask me about crap-excuse me-rap. Rap isn't my kind of music at all. Actually, I don't see a point in it. You need no skill to rap, all you need is a voice, and oh my gosh!, almost everyone in America has one! Bravo for having no talent!

We were almost to the apartment. Well, not apartment, exactly. I mean, yes, we called it the apartment, but it wasn't really one. My good friend Larxene had this great idea when it was time for everyone to go to college. Instead of having to waste our money on over priced rent bills and having to deal with crappy neighbors, we all chipped in and bought this huge three storied house. I know what you're thinking, all right, it sounds a little bit dumb. I'm guessing you'd be totally correct if you didn't know that we were all basically rich. Odd, huh? Not so much. We'd all gone to the same private high school, St. Gabriel. It's really prestigious, and you can only get in if you're really, really hooked up. You have to have major connections. In that school, having a thousand dollars in your pocket is normal.

So, my friends and I bought the house. It's huge, brick, and totally amazing. The kitchen is on the bottom floor, which kind of sucks since I'm on the top one. We have like, 6 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, and a swimming pool. The living room's on the second floor, and bar's on the top. Yep, we have our own bar. Larxene was being an idiot and bought a stripper pole and put it in the bar. Let's just say we've had a lot of fun with that thing.

I room with Demyx, and we basically have the top floor for ourselves. The only problem with this is that the water heater keeps breaking and that Demyx won't go downstairs in the mornings to fix it when I tell him to. Oh well, like I said, now it's his fault it's broken.

Zexion, our resident emo, rooms with Marluxia, which I find really hilarious. They've been best friends since like, Kindergarten. Marly, though, turned out to be a little bisexual flower boy, and he hits on pretty much everyone now, including Zex. He's actually going out with Larxene, but he's a major flirt, and everyone knows it.

Then there's Riku, who rooms with Luxord, resident gambler. Riku's one of my best friends, but he won't room with me anymore because of this one time I came home drunk and tried to molest him. He said he forgives me, but will never room with me again unless I stop drinking. Yeah, like that would happen. Luxord's a junior in college, but we've known him since forever. He's actually originally from Britain, but he moved here in like, middle school, and he has this accent.

Larxene rooms with this girl named Namine. Namine moved here during the middle of high school, but she came alone and wouldn't tell anyone about her home life. We all figured her parents died or something. She's into art, too, and we have a lot of classes together. She's a real sweet heart.

Larxene, well, she's Larxene. I love her to death, and she's probably my best friend, but she's a complete psycho. She tries to kill people at least daily, and if you don't get threatened by her once a day, you should be scared. I hated her when I first met her, but then we discovered that we were pretty similar after all. She had a crush on me, and we dated off and on before I realized I was gay. She completely supported me, though, and we've basically been best friends since ever.

I pulled into the house drive way and parked carefully. My old red truck is the love of my life, but she just doesn't work as well as she used to. What I really want to buy is a motor cycle, but I don't like to be flamboyant with my money issue, not on myself anyway, so I try to drive older things. Maybe if I could find a nice old Harley…

I sighed and shook little Roxas, poking him in shoulder, trying to wake him up. When he wouldn't wake up, I got out and opened his door. I grabbed the little black backpack he's stole with him and picked him up, carrying him in my arms. He was a really light little thing, so it wasn't that hard to carry him, even if I apparently 'have no muscle.' Yeah, whatever, I'm hot and I know it.

All the lights were on when I got into the house. I winced slightly. I hadn't wanted everyone to make a big deal when I got back. I run away a lot, and they don't always take it that well.

When I got into the house, I was met by Demyx, Riku, and Larxene. Their expressions went from angry to confusion to panic in like, 10 seconds. I smirked watching them, and put a finger to my lips, motioning for them to be quiet. After all, little Roxas was sleeping. I chuckled then, grinning.

"No welcome home party, then, huh?"


	4. Chapter 3

Finally! You get an Update, and a Roxas POV chapter! ; I'm sorry it took so loooonnnng for me to update. I suffered from writer's block. Soooorrrry! Please Review!

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My name is Roxas Stone, and life sucks, and not even in the good way. Life just isn't for me. And you know what? I don't even fucking care anymore. I just don't. I mean, I used to. I used to cry, I used to fucking break down, but I'm done with that shit. I know now that no one's ever going to give me a fucking break in this life. I can't trust anyone anymore, and I wonder if I ever should have. 

Everyone I've ever trusted has fucking let me down, so why should I even give a shit anymore? Why should I care for anyone but myself? That's all I want to know, and so far, no one's been able to tell me, so I figure it's not worth it after all, and maybe it never was.

I used to wonder what I'd done to deserve my life, but now I know something most people don't get. Nothing matters! Yeah, that's what I've learnt; because, you know, we're all gonna fucking die anyway! Nothing fucking matters anymore…. Maybe it never did.

My parents used to call me Angel Eyes. They used to call me Beauty, Angel, Sweet, Love… Well, you know what? I'm not like that anymore. Sure, I'd probably still look the same as I did then. Big blue eyes, soft blonde hair, sun kissed skin, lithe and pretty. But, you've never been me, so you'd never understand what I've gone through. You've never been through what I have, and really, you don't know shit about life.

You don't know that… no one cares. No one cares about you. In life, people just want to use you or lose you. That's all. There's no middle ground, there's no such thing as love.

My name's Roxas Stone, and if I know one thing about life, it's that no one cares, especially when you care too much.

* * *

Axel P.O.V 

I sighed, running my long, thin hand through my red hair, my sigh turning into a yawn as I walked back into the living room after I left Roxy on the guest room bed. I was met by scowls and grimaces, and was ushered into a chair by Larxene. After that, it felt like I was in a police interrogation room.

Demyx stared at me, trying to act tough, but failing because of a large pink bandage on his nose. Larxene practically look feral, and even though Riku was blind, he managed to stare at me in a way that hurt. Oh, I didn't mention that before, did I? Riku's as blind as a bat, although he's a lot prettier. Apparently his dad put his eyes out when he was younger, before Riku ran away. That was before he came to live with me in Highschool. I'll tell you, his story isn't pretty, not at all. Riku's also got this weird phobia of being touched unless he trusts someone, like me, or Larxene. It's some sad shit he's been through, and I used to be really sorry for him. I mean, I still would be sorry for him, if he wasn't such an ass.

So, he normally wears this weird blindfold unless it's just me, Larx, and Demyx that's around. Apparently, he doesn't want to scare anyone with his eyes. I don't think they're that bad. They're large and aquamarine, but they have the tendency to get really small in bright light or float off in opposite directions, so he normally just wears a blindfold.

So, the questions basically started flowing the second I sat down. It seemed like they were all shouting at once, but eventually, they seemed to get a system down.

"Where were you?" Demyx asked, glaring at me.

I smoothly answered, "Sunrise Shores, in a cheap motel." I figured the less I said, the less I'd have to answer.

"Who is she?" was the next question, directed by Larxene. I colored a little, blushing only in a slight way, feeling a little silly. Oh well, at least I wasn't the only one to mistake his gender.

"She is a he, and he's name Roxas… um… Roxas… Something with an 'S'…er… Sock?" I answered, racking my memory for words I could not find.

Larx looked at me oddly, her eyebrows shooting up like bullets, and she was obviously trying to keep on a scowl. "Roxas…Sock?" she repeated, and I just sighed loudly and rubbed my temples in an agitated way.

Riku shushed her as she began to laugh, and he turned to me, staring at me intently with unseeing eyes. "Ok, his name's Roxas Sock. Got it. Now, two questions. One, why is he in our house? And two, why do Demyx and Larxene keep telling me that he's wearing a… dress?" he asked, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"Well, you see, there's a funny story behind that all! And, you know, I'm sure we'll all look back on this, and, you know, laugh!" I chuckled nervously, scratching my head. I was granted three glares for stalling, and finally I just sighed and broke the dams.

"Ok, so, he's staying here for a while. He won't tell me where he's from, where he's going… why he's wearing a dress. All I know is that the kid's only 17, and he has no where to go. What was I supposed to do? I mean, I'm a responsible adult, after all!" I explained, raising my voice a little bit.

Demyx snorted, rolling his eyes, "Yeah, right, Axel. Responsibility is never turning off the oven, forgetting to do your homework, and living off your family's money. Anyhow, I bet you just thought he was hot."

I blushed a little bit at that, which I instantly regretted, because then Larxene and Demyx just laughed at me, and I'm pretty sure Riku caught on, because he chuckled a little bit too.

I finished explaining where I'd found him, among other things, when I realized that it seemed no one else was even home. I looked around, startled. Normally, I was the only one who ran away often or even stayed out all that late.

"Hey, where are Zexy and Marly? And Luxord and Namine, where are they?" I asked, and then gasped, feeling my blood go cold. "OMG! YOU MURDERED OUR FRIENDS!" I shouted, standing up and rushing backwards, hitting a table and falling down.

Riku turned towards me, his eyes drifting off into seperate directions, and wearing the creepiest smile I'd ever seen. I gulped, my eyes going wide, but then Larxene jabbed him in the ribs and scowl just scowled. "Hey, what was that for?" he mumbled to her, scowling.

Larxene just sighed, and I could tell she was having one of her "I live with fucking idiots" moments, so I stayed quiet for a second, allowing her time to continue. "They went home to visit their parents. I know you're an idiot, and so you wouldn't remember, but school's over for the year. It's summer, you dumb ass. Remember those big tests we just took? Finals? Ringing a bell?" she asked exasperatedly.

Oh… right. I'd forgotten about that, after emo-ing about Demyx not paying his part of the rent for our part of the house, breaking his nose, running away, and finding Roxy. I felt really dumb, and I just shook my head, my face almost blushing.

"So… you're going to take care of him, right? Cause, I'm not really into cross dressers," Demyx trailed, eyeing me carefully. I gave him a hard punch in the shoulder, but nodded none-the-less. Sighing, I stood up from my chair, brushing off invisible dust from my pants.

"I'm gonna hit the hay, ok?" I asked, but I didn't expect an answer. I just walked off, and went up all the stairs to my shared 'dorm' with Dem. My part of the attic, my room, was clean. I know, you wouldn't guess that an artist would have a clean room, huh?

I set down my bags, and Roxas's lone bag, and gazed over my room. It was actually pretty airy, with a large window in the corner. The whole room was painted to look like a sunrise, with deep reds, light yellows, oranges, and the whole drill. I loved the sunrise, very much more than the sunset, which wasn't really my favorite thing in the world. Over most of the painting, though, were other paintings I'd done. There were pictures of almost everyone in the house, some of them multiple times. I really liked drawing people best, although I could do sceneries and still-lives just as well, people were my forte. I loved the life, the expression that each person had. Just a slight change of expression could make a whole painting's mood completely different. Sometimes, I even joke that painting's better than sex.

Well, not really. But, you know, it comes close in second.

"Beeped. Beeeeep. Beeeeep."

I flinched in reaction to the sound of my cell going off. I swear, I think I probably picked the most obnoxious, loud, shrill ring tone, but it was the only one I could hear most of the time through my ipod, so, it stayed.

"Hello?" I answered, looking at my nail beds without much interest.

"AXEL!!!!!" was the receiving shout. I grimaced, holding the phone about a foot away from my head as the girl on the other end screamed.

"Kairi, chill, seriously, babe, I don't need a hearing aid, it wouldn't go with my hair," I muttered into the phone, my ears still ringing. Kairi was my little sister, adorable, sweet, and totally annoying. She's really about the same age as Namine, which makes her about a year younger than me. Her and Nam used to hang out all the time before Nam came out here for college. Kairi opted to go to the community college in our home town, so I really didn't see much of her anymore.

"Well SORRY! Maybe if I didn't get a call, like, three days ago saying you'd disappeared again, I wouldn't have to scream so much!" she retorted loudly, making my ears hurt again.

"Kairi," I groaned, "Sound levels for humans, Ppppllleeeeaaaassse." I could hear her pout at that, and decided to throw her a bone, "I was at Sunrise Shores. I needed a break, and some inspiration," I muttered, and earned a sigh of relief, signaling I was off the hook. Kairi, also, was an artist, of a sort. She was really into poetry and crap. We used to joke that I was the visual artist, she was the mental one. Of course, after she figured out I actually meant she was mental, she didn't laugh as much…

I talked to her for about another 15 minutes, then hung up, got into my pajama pants, went into bed, and fell asleep, dreaming of blonde cupids, and some killer raisin armies trying to take over the world.

Damn raisins.

* * *

I woke up to a scream the next morning, jumping out of bed, and Demyx swore I yelled, "Whosthere?Igottashotgun!" but, you know, Demyx is an idiot, so I wouldn't trust him anymore. 

I threw on a shirt and followed the sound of the screaming into the guest room, where I found a still-asleep blonde, crying and almost strangling himself in the sheets. He was naked, surprisingly, although he was under the covers, so I didn't see anything. The pink dress was on the floor next to the bed, in all of it's blood stained glory.

At the time, Roxy was trying to scratch his throat into pieces, so I quickly grabbed his arms, holding them down to the bed as he screamed. Large, fat tears ran down his baby-angel looking cheeks, and the look on his face was devastating. In a state of panic, I sat on the bed and held him until his whimpering was down, rubbing his back and murmuring soft words into his hair, the blanket still covering most of his body.

The weird thing, from what I could see, he was covered in scratches, and bruises. When I looked closer, I found that he had scars as well, and some seriously traumatizing looking hickeys. What the fuck was going on?

I felt the sobs rack his body as he cried, and it was about then that I noticed people, meaning Demyx, Riku, and Larx, standing at the door. I waved them away, putting a finger up to my lips, and they left grudgingly, Demyx shutting the door behind him.

I was so confused. What had happened to the blonde, to make him so scared, even in his dreams? I continued to try to calm him, until he stopped sobbing, just breathing heavily. It was about then that I noticed his eyes were open, and I wondered vaguely how long they'd been so.

I was about to let go when he buried his head into my stomach, whimpering like a little lost puppy. If I wasn't so freaked out, so worried about him, I would've commented on this, too. But, being the swell guy I am, I let the silence carry on until it became uncomfortable.

"Roxy?" I whispered softly, though the word echoed in the empty, silent air. "Are you ok? Do you… want to talk about it?" I asked, still rubbing his back calmly. His little head shook, and he lifted it, resting his chin on my chest, although in some odd way, the whole situation was platonic.

"I-I'm fine… I-It's weird, though… no one's ever been able to stop the nightmares…before," he said softly, still trembling. Even though his eyes were red and puffy, they shone even bluer than ever before.

"Well, I'll try my best to make sure I can stop them whenever I can," I promised lightly, patting his head with a little chuckle. I don't think, at that time, I understood how important that promise actually was to him. After all, at the time, I didn't really know him.

I knew him only as a stranger did. I felt sympathy, possibly even empathy, for him, true, but I couldn't understand, not yet. It's impossible to understand something without really knowing, no matter how weird that sounds. So, no, I didn't, couldn't understand, but the promise I made basically meant I'd promised to try to understand, and that I'd be around to understand as well. I just didn't know that.

Roxas did. He got really wide eyed, and even as another loose tear fell down his cheek, he smiled for me, and gave me a big hug. I just grinned, pat him on the back again, just smiling my big dorky smile. Cool, I thought, he's actually pretty cool.

I let the moment trail on for about ten seconds until I pulled away. Suddenly, I felt really embarrassed, and I blushed red, almost meeting the color of my hair. Roxy looked a little confused, but just smiled, and it didn't help. He was just… so… cute!

I turned my head away like the big jerky lug I am. "Come on, let's go find you some clothes," I murmured, and Roxas wrapped himself up in the sheet from the guest room bed. We walked up to my room, and I tried to find the smallest clothing I had.

I managed to get some really tight jeans that fit him (and me, but only when we went to… bars) and a black tee that wasn't too humongous on him. Luckily, he had boxers, so we were ok in that department. I let him change in my bathroom, and when he was done, looking cute in my clothing I had to say, I offered him breakfast.

Although he was much happier, almost acting bubbly, around me, he was completely different around Riku, Demyx, and Larxene. As soon as we entered the kitchen, he became stone like and lifeless. I offered greetings, and even introduced everyone, but Roxas just acted shy and indifferent, munching on his bowl of Lucky Charms nonchalantly. I sighed, grabbing myself a cup of coffee and a muffin, making small conversation with Riku and Demyx.

Larxene, though, glared at Roxas with a sort of odd expression. Larx could tend to get protective of me, especially when she guessed that I liked someone. She'd told me often enough that I fall way too easy, and way too fast, and I'm guessing Roxas wasn't giving her the best impression.

She just glared at him, with these scary, narrow eyes. Finally, she broke the silence I didn't even realized had formed.

"So, Roxas, where do you live, and when can we bring you home?" she asked, her voice cold and menacing.

Roxas stopped, spoon of lucky charms midway to his mouth. His eyes were full of fear, large and wide. Where was the boy who'd been threatening me with lamps? I guessed he couldn't hold up his rough façade forever, it seemed. He glanced at me, as if to ask for help. I answered for him.

"No worries, Larx, he'll go when he's ready. Don't bother him," I warded off her questions with a simple dismissing tone, although there was strong authority behind it. She glanced at me, looking worried, but saying nothing. Breakfast continued peacefully enough.

At around quarter past 10, I made a decision about the blonde. He was nuts. Completely nuts.

I mean, seriously, who eats 18 bowls of Lucky Charms?

* * *

Author's Note: I hope this chapter wasn't too bad! I really am horribly sorry for the month long delay, but now that my muse isn't dead, and seems to be even better than it was when it was alive before, I hope I can get this done sooner than later! 

Reviewers get big, big, cookies. And, you know, more reviews, faster chapter updates.

Muhahaha! Yes, I am holding the story ransom for 100000 dollars, er… 5 reviews!

-Crimson


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts; I just screw up the characters.

Author's Note: WOW! I guess the last chapter was better than usual! I got at least 5 reviews (Which was what I had been asking for) and ever some constructive criticism!

Now, I really hope I haven't upset anyone by not reviewing their… reviews. I'm really sorry, but I have two very good reasons. 1.) I have limited time to do much, and since you all seem to want updates faster than this writer can write…. 2.) I don't know how. Yep, completely honest. I've really only had this count for a little under 2 months, so I'm still learning how to use it.

Also! I finally figured out what AU means, so, yes, if anyone wanted to know, this is an AU fic. This writer was just always too dumb to know that till now.

A special thanks to scribblesTHEotaku, kawaiifox1, Hikari Aiyano, and Avi den Kanashimi. The first three have reviewed since the beginning, or close to it. The last game me constructive criticism, which I absolutely love. Also, she or he(Sorry!), pointed out something important. Since I haven't exactly planned out this story, you might notice slight changes, some of which won't seem right. If you could, I'd love for you to tell me about these. I don't really have anyone to review my stuff and tell me if it makes sense, so I tend to miss things, or change them without my knowledge.

Wow, long. Onto the story!

First is Roxy again. It'll switch back and forth. I'll make sure to let you know when it does.

-Crimson

* * *

I think I just had an epiphany. Well, actually, I'm not really sure if that's the right word, but it sounds smart and scholarly, so I'll go with it. I'm just… very, very confused. 

I ran away. I'll go ahead and make that clear. I ran away from my home for my own good, because I wanted to. No one made me leave, heck, I'm surprised I survived. I ran to get my freedom, my independence. I didn't want to make and relationships out here. I've never liked those; they hurt more than they help. Or, well, I take that back, I don't like relationships anymore; too many risks now a day. People only get hurt around me… like Sora. Wow. I sure hope he's ok, the little bastard. I miss him.

But, I'm not making my point clear. What I'm saying is, I just got really confused, really fast. See, Axel… he doesn't want to hurt me. I've been waiting for it, ever since I woke up in that motel room. No one… no one's ever been so… nice to me, well, except for Sora.

I'll admit, Axel scared the hell out of me when I woke up. He's a tall guy, even if he looks like a fucking pencil or something. Even once you get over that, he's just so… eccentric. I'm sorry, but the guy looks weird.

I wonder if that hairs natural. I mean, it's not just red, it's like… RED. Plus, it sticks up, like, everywhere. I really wanted to ask him if he got dropped in a bathtub with a toaster when he was little, but I wasn't sure if that was smart or not. Plus, mine's kinda spiky too. I may be a hypocrite, but I'm not an obvious one. Plus, he pulled it back, so I guess it doesn't always look like that.

Even when you get past that, you see those eyes. Oh, god, those eyes… I don't know why, but whenever I look at him, I have to avoid those eyes. They draw me in, like bugs to those 'zappy-bug-machine things.' You know? The kind, where you'll be taking an evening walk in the summer, and all of the sudden, you'll hear a kind of pop from a house and you'll see a greenish-glow and a falling mosquito. That's what his eyes are like. They make me feel all zapped. I don't like it, it feels weird.

Plus, he's got these weird marks under his eyes. I'm not sure if they're tattoos or what, but they make him look kind of like a clown. I don't know, it's not like I don't like clowns, but when you put everything together…

Oh well. He's one of the nicest people I've ever talked to. Plus, he's warm. I miss warm, I've been cold so long, I kind of forgot about it.

I don't know about what I think of everything so far, but I kind of like it here. Plus, they have this really good cereal. I don't know what it is, but I can't stop eating it. Man, that stuff is good! Plus, it makes me all jittery.

Cool, huh? I must be acting like Sora, because people keep looking at me with kind smiles. I've never been looked at like that before. I mean, I was the… the wrong twin, the cursed twin. Sora was the better one, people loved him. I only got used.

Still, I'm glad he got out while he could. He always deserved his happiness more, even if it means I don't ever get mine. Even here, I think it'll just be good while it lasts. Nothing around me is ever good for long.

Still… it's warm here. So warm. Maybe, maybe it's warm enough to heal the hurts, the hurts they put in me… maybe.

* * *

Axel's POV 

After a very, awkward breakfast, I took the kid outside. He needed his own clothes, and maybe I could find a reason to put my money for good use. Really, I mean it; I wasn't just looking forward to maybe catching a glimpse through the dressing room doors! Jeez, I'm not a pervert… most of the time.

Man, that kid is just strange. You'd think he was bipolar or something. When I found him, he was this bitchy, dark little thing. Suddenly, he's hyper and happy. I think I blame the sugar, though. I am never buying Lucky Charms, ever, again. Even if they are magically delicious.

Not that I can't help thinking of a certain other thing in our house that is magically delicious…

Anyhow. I decided to take him out shopping. Since we were near the shopping district, and because it wasn't too hot outside, I decided we'd walk. So, after breakfast I left Roxas in the guest bedroom to wait while I changed into some normal clothing. I mean, I know I'm hot in pajamas, but I don't want to get raped walking down the street. I mean, I'm not a prostitute, though I've been mistaken for one once or twice.

I don't want to talk about it.

I sighed, leaning on the door to my closet, flicking through shirts. I was in a sort of grumpy mood, kind of. Breakfast had left me feeling awkward and a little bit anxious. I could tell Larxene was just waiting to explode something. Probably that time of the month for her or something.

Even during the summer, I don't really like wearing short sleeves. I have really thin arms, like practically everything else. Well, not everything, if you get my drift… but… yeah. So, anyhow, I normally wear long sleeves. Plus, I get cold.

I'm kind of a Pyro. I don't like being cold, it just bugs me. I really don't know why I have such an obsession with heat and fire, especially after what happened to my face, but I do. I always carry around at least 10 lighters, and if I ever get REALLY short on cash, I can juggle and swallow it on the street. That's why they call me a circus freak sometimes. I can do amazing fire tricks. I can also do cool stuff with my tongue, but that's a totally different story.

So, I grabbed all of my lighters and stuffed them into the pants pockets I picked out. They were black pants, tight legged like most of the stuff I wear. Some people may call my style emo. I really don't give a shit. I like what I like. Labels are for soup cans. Cry me a River, Build me a Bridge, and get the fuck over it.

I finally grabbed a long sleeved hooded style shirt, with a pocket when I got put both of my hands in, you know, the kind where you can feel your other hand too. I like those. It was black and purple in color, striped. I liked it, it was actually pretty new.

I looked in a mirror. I have very defined eyes. Most people think I wear eyeliner and contacts, but my eyes are actually natural. Most things about me are natural; just most people don't believe me.

Sighing, I grabbed a brush and attempted to tame my mane. I managed to get my bangs limp enough, putting two hair clips in to keep them down, the long bangs hanging just right of my right eye. The rest of the hair was useless. I grabbed a black scrunchie and pushed all of my hair into a ponytail.

Then I was done. Dressing barely even takes 15 minutes for me. I shower at night, so I don't have to bother with that.

I walked down the stairs, hangs in my pocket, slouching and sucking on one of my signature lollypops. (That's another thing I always have. I love them, especially cherry flavored ones.) I knocked on the door to the guest room and Roxas appeared. He looked a little shocked for a second, and I waited it out. I knew I probably looked a little bit different, what with my hair looking normal, showered, and wearing normal clothes.

"Ready to go?" I asked, pulling out my lolly for a second in order to be understood. He nodded, and we walked down to the kitchen. I grabbed my neck chain with the house key on it and waved to Larxene so she'd know I was leaving. She just nodded.

Yeah, she was mad at me. I knew it! See? I'm always right. Then again, with good looks like mine, I figure luck always swings in my direction. I mean, what wouldn't swing in my directions?

We got out the door and started walking. Roxas glanced around, and I could tell the silence was bothering him a little bit. Since I'd always started the conversations as of yet, I decided he could do this on his own.

"She's sort of cute," Roxas said, glancing up at me for a second, "Your girlfriend?"

I stared at him for a second and took another long suck on my lollypop. I hadn't wanted to freak him out or anything, but I wasn't about to lie just to save his imagination. Plus, he could leave if he didn't like my choices. I wasn't about to stop him.

"Nah, I swing for the other team," I told him nonchalantly. He glanced up at me, but he didn't look shocked at all. He just smirked and replied, "Yeah, I kinda figured. Your hair's too fixed. I couldn't get any of mine to stick down if I tried, and yours is worse."

I gasped in mock-anger. "Why, Roxy Babe! Insulting the hand that took you in and fed you! I am so insulted," I exclaimed, mocking anger and shock. He actually laughed a little bit, a girly kind of giggle. I chuckled and messed up his hair. He glared at me and attempted to mess up mine.

"Sorry, shorty, I don't think you can reach," I smirked, chuckling a little and kept walking. And then, guess what that little son of a bitch did! He kicked me! HARD! In the shin!

And because of my chicken legs, I stumbled and went onto one knee. He kept walking, and mussed my hair as I passed him.

"Yeah, who's laughing now?" he retorted, and kept on walking.

* * *

We walked over to the indoor shopping mart in the shopping district. It's kind of like a mall, except there are produce stores and wall marts there too. I ran a hair through my bangs, adjusting the two clips I'd put in it. We lazily walked around, he seeming to be thinking about something, me wanting to let him drift off to stores of his own taste. 

We ended up in a store called RAGE, which was basically full of darker clothing, slightly punk, slightly emo, but good enough. I followed him around like a tall dog on an invisible leash, glaring at any of the boys, or men, who were giving him lusty looks.

He didn't really seem to notice. Or maybe he just didn't care. I was a little confused, though. He hadn't seemed to take my sexuality badly, but then again, he hadn't told me his. Normally, when I came out to someone, they either told me to get the fuck away from them, or told me they were bi, gay, straight, ect, ect.

I don't know, it just seemed odd to me. Maybe he's in that weird coming out phase, where you're still thinking about it… or maybe he's just really oblivious. Either way, I was going to force anything out of him.

When I thought of it, I was kind of treating him like a wounded animal. Sure, I was being sarcastic and cynical, but that's just me. I was being gentle, allowing him to become familiar with his surroundings, and the surrounding people. I didn't want to push anything on him, or to try to get him to tell me things. After all, good things come to people who wait, right?

He picked out a couple of shirts, and I really had to laugh at his choices. I like the kid's taste. I could tell he was kind of like me, only a little bubblier, a little happier, or that's what it looked like on the outside. Really, I was pretty sure he was cynical, or at least a pessimist.

The first three shirts were all black. The first said, in large letters, "Screw me? Please do!" The second one was a smiley face, with the dead 'X' eyes. The third one was my personal favorite. In lime green letters, it spelled out clearly, "Don't Need a Rainbow, I got All of My Lucky Charms." That fit in so many ways.

He bought the three shirts, which he didn't think he needed to try on, and we headed to the next store, where he bought a pair of black jeans and a pair of blue jeans.

By 2:30, he'd gotten 15 shirts and 5 pairs of pants. It turned out that he hadn't brought any clothing in his pack, and he wasn't telling me what was actually in it. I paid for it with ease, and he didn't make a comment on the money, so I didn't bother explaining.

We sat in the food court of the indoor mall, then, me drinking a lime and strawberry smoothie, him munching on some nachos.

"So, you major in art, right?" he asked, making conversation first for the second time of the day. I nodded, yawning, and continued the conversation with ease.

"Yep. I mostly draw people, but still-lives are pretty cool too. I do pretty good sunsets. Demyx, he's majoring in art and music, he does really good statues. Most of the time he just sits around playing on his sitar, though," I replied, snorting a little bit. I'm pretty sure Demyx is in love with his sitar. Even named it, Tina or something.

Suddenly, I saw a flash pass us and then I was drenched in grape soda. I snapped my head up, the soda slowly seeping through my hair, down my back, and into my shirt. There were a bunch of guys there, grinning and laughing. Then, someone stepped up, someone who truly shocked me.

"FLAMER!" he screamed, and the rest of the guys laughed along with him. Another guy threw a half drunk bottle of coke at me, and it spilled on my pants. I just kept sitting there, taking the torment in silence. After all, what could I do? He was here… he'd been the one to… to make fun of me so badly. Why couldn't he just leave me alone, why couldn't they all just leave me alone?

"Why don't you just fucking kill yourself, you faggot? Huh? The world would be better off without your gay fucking ass. Fucking flamer!" he yelled at me, and I just looked away. "Hey! Look at me while I'm talking to you!" he snarled, and reached out of if to punch me.

I started to tear up a little, so I looked down, almost missing what happened next. I didn't miss it, though, thank god. First, I saw nachos land on one of the guy's heads, and then Roxas was beating the snot out of the kid. The rest of the guys tried to jump on him, but he was too fast.

I was in awe with his fighting skills. He jumped and twisted and turned as if he was dancing. In his arms were two keys, small like the normal kind of car key and sharp as needles. He slashed a few of them with the keys, but most of the time he was punching and kicking, just beating the snot out of them.

I suddenly snapped out of my grief induced stupor to run up and grab Roxas. We ran out of the mall, leaving the guys behind us in a confused, Roxy induced gaze. As soon as we got out of the indoor shopping mart, Roxas did something weird. He turned on me and snarled, while I just blinked confusedly.

"What the fuck? Why didn't you fucking kill them? Why didn't you do anything? They were throwing things at you! Why the fuck didn't you do anything? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Roxy shouted at me, practically snarling.

I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed my hands into my shirt pocket and just kept walking, because I didn't want him to see me cry. He was so right. It wasn't like this hadn't happened all that much. A lot of people in Twilight Town knew about my… sexuality, especially since almost everyone else in our house was of the same choice, aside from Namine. Larxene was bi, but that was another story. I'd been beaten up before, smashed down, called names, yelled at, and even kicked out of public places because of my choice. The choice I thought I deserved. The choice that was mine to make. Sure, it wasn't fair, but I learnt really early that if I fought back, it just got worse.

Still, I hadn't expected to see… him here. Really, I'd never cried about being yelled at or even beat up… but seeing him, that just… that just killed me. He was family! I felt tears running down my cheeks, and a few fell onto the sidewalk as I walked with my head low.

"Axel!" I heard, and I was whipped around from behind as stopped me. He seemed out of breath, and then I realized that I'd been running, not walking like I thought I had been. At first, he seemed mad, but when he looked at me, he just looked shocked.

"Oh… I'm so… I just… I was mad… and… Oh my god, I'm sorry," He rambled, looking panicked. I realized he thought it was his fault I was crying, and I carefully wiped my tears away and gone while shaking my head.

"Nah, it wasn't your fault, Blondie. Just got a bit chocked up. I mean, we were never close… but the prick that started that… he was my brother, Reno."

Close Family, huh?


	6. Chapter 5

Author's Note: I know, I'm becoming the queen of late replies! Soooorrrrrry! I went brain dead on this story for a while, but now I know what I wanna do.

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU for all of your beautiful reviews. Brightens up my day every time I get one. First POV is Roxas.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my sanity, occasionally.

* * *

Adrenaline rushed at me from all sides. I breathed heavy, walking next to Axel. My keys were in my pocket, sharpened like knives. I don't know when I'd started to use them, on the island, but I know I'm glad for it now. They've gotten me out of more than a couple bad things. Why not knives, you ask? Um… they were never really available.

Sighing, I waited for more of an explanation. We'd been walking in silence for a couple of minutes, and the air was starting to turn awkward between us. He had quietly finished his crying, and I had quietly pretended I didn't notice.

I guess I could've seen the resemblance between Axel and that guy I beat up. They both had red hair… freakishly tall… except the other guy didn't look as much like a fucking circus clown, but, whatever.

Finally, I gave up. I'd have to ask if I wanted to know.

"So… your brother's an ass." I said, rolling my eyes and looking over at Axel who immediately smirk and chuckled lightly.

"Yeah, guess you could say that. Never used to be… Well, we were never actually really that close… but… we were family, y'know?" Axel stated, running a hand through his hair. He seemed to do that a lot. I wonder if it was a habit.

I waited, and he kept talking. "I told 'em I was gay. 'Rents kicked me out a while ago… Reno started hating me, I guess. But, you know, I was in my first year of college, I had the guys. I mean, sure, it hurt and shit, but I got over it. I thought they would too. But, y'know. They're real religious," Axel shrugged again, tossing his words off his shoulder.

We were quiet for another minute. So, his parents had kicked him out. That wasn't that bad. At least they weren't keeping him in. That was a lot worse. I knew.

"He's older than me by a few minutes. We're twins, but I guess you could tell. Stupid git, used to tell me when I was little that I didn't have a heart, because he got it 'cus he was born first," Axel commented, and I froze. Axel… he was a twin too!

My eyes got really big, or at least that what Axel told me afterwards. I stumbled quick and then latched onto his arm.

"You're a twin… too? Younger? Gosh, how did you get out? Did you run away too? But… your parents kicked you out! Did they hide you as a kid, or something? Or lie?" I stumbled over my words, my heartbeat picking up.

If Axel had gotten away, or if he hadn't even had to do the job of a younger twin… I could too!

Except, then Axel did the strangest thing. He looked at me, his eyebrows going up, and responded with a simple, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Yeah, now I was confused. But… Axel had said he was a twin too. And a younger twin. Surely he knew what I was talking about? Or… maybe his parents never told him? The curse of the twins?

I shook my head abruptly, and we pulled to a stop in front of Axel's house, or apartment as he called it. He pulled me to the backyard and sat me down on a bench.

"Now, what the fuck are you talking about, Roxy?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He looked worried, confused… How could he not know?

"You know! Axel! The Curse of the Twins. You should know, after all, if you're the younger," I stated, staring at him intensely. He couldn't have gotten out of it! That just wasn't fair! How another younger twin could have gotten out of it, and I couldn't? That just wasn't… it just wasn't fair!

"No, Roxy, I really don't know what you're talking about. How 'bout you calm down and tell me from the start?" he asked, and pushed a piece of hair out of my eyes.

I just sighed, exasperated. God, if he hadn't… why had I brought this up? I really didn't want to explain. I looked to the ground, and pulled my self up Indian Style on the bench. I wrung my hands. I looked at birds. Stalling, Stalling, and Stalling.

"Come on, Roxy, you can tell me," Axel pressured after a few silent minutes went by.

I tried to calm myself, and finally I just started talking. "I… I'm a twin. Um, my brother's name is Sora… he… he disappeared a while ago. We lived on this Island, Destiny Island. And, well, the curse of the twins… um… The younger twin has to… well… they're used. And, um, hated. On purpose. The culture says that younger twins are useless and are to be used for pleasure and… pain. I-I-I thought… it was the same everywhere," I mumbled, and looked to the ground, beginning to feel ashamed.

An arm wrapped itself around me, but I just kept talking. "And…And… I had an older sister…Namine. She was my best friend as much as she was my sister… and sometimes we used to sneak out… Sometimes they made her work, too… But, she escaped a while ago, with Sora. They tried to take me with them but they couldn't. My dad caught me. And they never came back to save me. So dad made me wear girl clothes and do Namine's job too. And…And…And…" I just quietly sobbed. Axel quietly put his arms around me and let me cry. I'd never told anyone my story before… because everyone already knew.

Beaten, raped, used to the fullest. I ran away from my dad, but not before he got the last laugh. Mom had died a while ago, and Dad always told me it was my fault, because she died of shame of having twins, that it was my fault, because everyone loved Sora. Sora was always the golden child. Warm brown locks, tan skin, eyes always more alive than mine. Sora was perfect, he was nice to everyone. Sora wasn't a slave. Sora had a heart. Sora… I hated him, and I loved him. The damn bastard, my damn brother.

I calmed after a while when Axel told me something. "I know Namine," he said, "She lives here, but she's going to be gone a while for the summer. When she gets back, we can find Sora, I promise."

Maybe things would be okay after all.

* * *

Axel P.O.V

The little guy fell asleep on me after a few minutes. I figured he was pretty tired, and I was pretty upset too. I dropped him off in the guest room and went up my part of the house.

"He said…" Hiccup, "He said… Hic… He wants to…Hic… Move on…hic… To bigger and better things!" Demyx wailed, suddenly crying on my shoulder. Seriously, how many times am I going to be cried on today?

"Aww, Demy, its ok! I'm sure he didn't mean it! I mean, Saix is just a jerk," I responded, only half listening. Apparently Demyx's boy toy, Saix, had broken up with him over the phone about an hour ago, and the poor Musician was upset.

"No it's not! He called me… s-small! And… and… useless… and not nearly pleasuring enough!" Demyx sobbed, and I sighed. Poor Demyx. I almost felt bad. First I break the kid's nose, and then his boyfriend breaks up with him.

"Well… how about Zexion? He likes you… he's only kind of emo…. I'm sure he's used to being bottom…" I drawled on and Demyx immediately brightened up.

"You really think he likes me?" he asked, blushing and giggling. I rolled my eyes and sighed. Demyx. Such a loser.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure." I responded absently, my mind instead conjuring up pictures of my favorite blonde.

"Well… what about Roxas? You like him?" Demyx asked, and my head shot up. Roxas… I guess I liked him… except after today, I wasn't going to make a move. The kid had been used so much, practically as a sexual toy. I didn't want to scare him off. I was afraid if I made a move, he'd break like my mom's good china in that one Earthquake. I suddenly felt incredibly shallow about my whole life. Sure, I'd been kicked out and disowned, but he'd been tortured, raped… God, I felt so awful.

Especially since I was in love with him. Somewhere over the course of 48 hours, I'd fallen in love with every part of him. I bared my soul and practically shoved it in his face, and he bared his right back. He was just so… so perfect, but so imperfect. He was dark and hated a lot of the world, but at the same time, he could be so innocent, so childish. He had a lot of rage, but kindness too. I was in love with Roxas, and I was afraid to do anything about it. I didn't want to hurt him, no, I couldn't hurt him. Not now, not ever. I finally found someone who I totally loved. He was my soul mate. I could tell, and I was so, so scared.

"I don't know, Demyx. I just don't know," I told him, and we chatted for a while longer before I kicked him out of my room to do some painting. God knows I needed to.

* * *

Riku's POV

I liked sitting outside in the summer. It's kind of a weird thing to enjoy, but once you start sitting and just listening, feeling, you can't stop. The feeling of the sun's rays gently falling on me, the sound of people walking down the side walk. Everything I hear, everything I feel is so precious to me. You don't really think about your senses until one you're missing one of them.

Oh, so many days I wish I could see the world. There are so many days I wish I just wouldn't have come home from school that day. Then, maybe, Dad would've sobered up before I got home, or passed out, at least. Then I wouldn't have to deal with this loss. But, what happened happened. It's in the past now.

Or, at least, I keep trying to tell myself that. Oh come on, give me some slack! I have the right to be bitter. I'll never see anything again. I'll live forever in the darkness. But… but… I guess I belong here, anyhow. In the darkness. That's what my dad told me when he cut my eyes out. That's what my mom told me when she left so many years ago. She wouldn't tell me where she was going. I was "Better off in the dark." It's what so many of the boys who took me home and fucked me said. After all, I was just a thing to be looked at. My true home was in the darkness.

I'd never found a reason not to believe. Never. Except… well, there was one person. I'd only met him recently, but he was just so different from everyone else. Everyday I get a ride to the park at 1:00. Lately, another teen has been joining me as I sit on the bench, just feeling the sun, hearing the voices, trying to be alive. He's always kind, and so far has never even asked about my blindfold, just accepting my blindness, my darkness. I don't even know his name, but somehow, when I talk to him, there's this… this light. I can't see it, not really, but I know it's there.

Wait. Footsteps. Someone's walking over here. I feel my wristwatch. It's special. It's like an open faced watch, and its numbers are in brail. Right, it's 1:30. He's here again.

Suddenly there's someone next to me on the bench. He smiles; I can hear it in his voice as he greets me. "Hi Riku!" He's always so cheery, so optimistic when he's talking.

"Hi," I mumbled back quietly, shyly, and if I could see, I think I'd stare at my feet right about now.

"How was your day so far," he inquires, and I snort a little bit bitterly.

"Axel brought home this…this kid. Larxene says he's cute, but you know, I wouldn't know. Now Axel's all fawning over him, but with the way he's talking about him now, poor kid's got a lot of issues, so I guess that sort of sucks for Axel," I whisper into the air. He looks at me, his gaze is intent.

"Is Axel gay?" he asks me, curious, with a surprisingly unbiased tone. I nod.

"Flaming," I reply, and if I could roll these glass eyes, I would, but I can't. They're only for decoration, and since I don't like them, I wear a blindfold anyhow. The only good thing is that I know they're the same color as the ones I used to have.

"Are you gay?" he asks now, and I blush, hard. I don't know why I do, I've never been embarrassed about my sexuality before, but somehow, this boy… I think I'm falling in love with him. I don't want him to stop sitting with me. It's starting to become the highlight of my day.

But I responded truthfully, nodding with a quiet, "Yeah." He's silent for a minute, but the next time he speaks, I know he's smirking.

"Oh, good," he said. I'm surprised, very, very surprised. What does he mean by that? But I don't have time to think, because he's continued, "So I guess you won't get all that upset if I do this." And once again I can't respond, because he lips are on mine and oh my god, he's kissing me and I'm kissing him and he tastes like chocolate and everything good in the world. Finally, we lean back and breath. I heard him chuckle slightly.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," He said, but I shake my head, disagreeing. Yes, yes, I do know how long he probably has wanted to do that. Probably since a couple of weeks ago, when this all started.

"I don't even know your name," I whisper to my feet, and suddenly a hand pushes my face up and another is undoing my blind fold.

"Are that your true eye color," a breathless voice asks. I nod, and the voice pauses. "You're beautiful," he says, and his arms are around me, hugging me.

"My name's Sora and I think I'm in love with you," he whispered in my ear. But I don't have time to say it back, because he kisses me again. Tentatively, I slide my tongue against his lower lip, and he allows me entrance. Our kisses are more passionate, open mouthed ones. Finally, we stop. He holds my hand, though, and I blush appreciatively. God, I remember the times where I was the one making others blush. I guess I really have changed.

"Will you go out with me?" I ask, and I blush deeper. Sora chuckles and I start to feel tears well up in my non-eyes. I don't really understand how I can still cry, but I can. I think it has something to do with nerves. Now he'll reject me, just like everyone else. All anyone ever wants is a piece of ass, or a few sweet kisses. No one wants to deal with the broken boy, except to look at him and maybe taint him some more. But I guess I was wrong, because arms are around me, and a voice is in my ear, soothing me.

"Hey, hey. Shhh… Shhh… I shouldn't have laughed, it's ok. It's ok, don't cry," he whispered, and he holds me for a while. Then he kissed me again, before replying, "I'd be very glad to be your boyfriend, Riku."

And as I hear those words and feel that touch, I know I've found my light, the light for my darkness. Maybe I don't deserve him, but hell if I don't die trying to.

* * *

Roxas POV

_Oh god, oh god, he's touching me! He's touching me! Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop! Oh god, oh god. The lights are off, I'm naked, I'm in chains, and he keeps touching me._

_Now he's pounding into me. Lightning strikes out and thunder rolls. The brief light exposes me, full of bruises and aching love bites, scars and bloody. It reveals the perpetrator, a large man, an older man, panting and thrusting into me. I'm screaming in agony, there are tears welling in my eyes._

_"Oh god, please stop! Please…stop!" I wail, so full of pain. He slaps me and pounds even harder. I can feel blood trickling out of my entrance, I feel my entrance splitting and ripping. He's going to rip me apart, and he's moaning and oh god I'm going to die. I shake and cry, wailing, groaning, and pleading._

_"Oh god, get off! Help, help, help, someone_ _help me!"_

"Oh god, oh god, someone help me!"

Someone rubs my back, embraces me. I'm sitting on someone's lap, crying and sobbing. I sobbed harder into his shirt and he embraced me harder. It's then I realize he's crying a little bit too. I shake and moaned into his shirt, because I felt the pain still on me. I felt the touch of all the men, all the women who have touched me, and we sob together.

But it's the second time he's awoken me from one of these dreams. I feel so thankful to him. He keeps rescuing me, and never once has he asked for anything in return. He slowly quieted down, but I kept on sobbing. He soothed me, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. Slowly, my sobs died down, and I just sat there, completely worn out and physically in turmoil. Something about him seems so right. But I don't want to be hurt again! I don't want to freak out if he touches me. I don't want to scare him off, I just want to be better, and because I think what's left of my heart is starting to want to be his, to want him to be mine.

"Roxas, it's ok, it's ok Roxas," he whispered into my ear, and slowly I looked up at him. His expression was pained, and I could tell he could barely stand embracing me like this, I could tell a part of him was falling for me too; I could tell he was worried to touch me, he was worried he would hurt me.

I think that was about the time I pulled him down and kissed him. I used to think I'd never fall in love, that love was too good for me. Everyone had always told me I didn't deserve to live, that any kind of life was a blessing for me. But Axel… without even saying much of anything, he convinced me of otherwise.

"Roxas," he pleaded, "Don't do this; I don't want to hurt you." He pulled back from the kiss and his eyes pleaded with me to stop before I got into something I didn't want to get into. I knew then that he was different. Probably, he had always been a bastard, a bit of an ass before, but now, I knew he was careful, he was trying his hardest to make things right. It made me love him all the more.

I ignored him and slowly pushed my lips onto his again, gentle and patient as he internally fought himself. Finally, he seemed to resign and kissed me back. I quickly switched to open mouthed kisses and pushed him onto his back, straddling him and stealing more kisses from his heavenly mouth. Yes, heavenly. Somewhere along the ride I realized just how gorgeous he was. It was probably right after I realized he most likely wasn't a circus freak, or a rapist.

Either way.

I moved to his collarbone, making quick work of finding the spots that made him gasp and moan. It was dusk now, I saw, and the guest bed room that he'd laid me in after my confession had a weird amount of shadows and light. I moved to his collarbone, and he gasped and moaned and writhed under me. I never thought he'd be so submissive. It was a change from what kind of sexual situations I'd ever been in.

I snuck a hand under his shirt and pinched a nipple, which was about the time he gasped and sat up, shocked and startled, as well as a little confused. He scooted away and brought his knees up to his chest.

"Roxas, no. I-I-I… not now. I'm sorry," he finished lamely, weary of me. I bowed my head a little and nodded. I knew I'd taken advantage of him a little bit, but I just… I didn't even know what had come over me completely. Normally I was the one asking people to slow down, although they never listened.

"I'm just not really ready to, you know," Axel motioned a little more calmly now that there was some distance between us. I gasped, a little bit shocked. Not that Axel was totally perverted and stuff, but I never expected that.

"I… I'm still a virgin," he whispered, and blushed beat red. Who knew my feisty little fire kitten was so submissive in bed? I chuckled slightly and touched his face as he blushed.

"That's ok. I just… could you… stay the night?" I asked. I didn't want anymore nightmares, and something told me that with Axel there, the nightmares wouldn't be back. "Please?" I added.

I could tell Axel thought had about it, biting his lip before nodding. He went upstairs for about ten minutes and came down changed into a pair of red pajama pants and a white t-shirt. I knew from experience that he normally went shirtless, but I didn't say anything. We slipped under the covers and I reached out towards him, pulling myself into his warmth, he was always so warm, I noticed.

"Roxas… does this mean… we're together?" he asked, seemingly hesitant. I knew he was afraid I just wanted a quick fuck or something, but I nodded, smiling softly.

"Yeah, if you want to be," I whispered back, and he smiled against my forehead, our height difference less while lying.

"Of course. Just next time, don't go so fast, ok? I don't… I don't want to hurt you, Roxy, and I think… maybe you should make sure you're ok before you do anything else, okay?" he asked, genuinely concerned. I nodded. I really had lost control, but something about his kisses just felt so right. Something about lying in his arms seemed to perfect, like we just matched. It was like he was my matching puzzle piece. We just fit together.

"Ok," I agreed, and he smiled again and put his arms around me and pulled me closer as we drifted off into the world of peaceful sleep.

_Axel… I think I love you…

* * *

_

Author's note:

And there you have it, our first signs of Akuroku! Hopefully that makes up for the wait, eh? Also… I love Uke!Axel and Seme!Roxas, so I think you'd all better be getting used to it.

Review? I'll give you a cupcake…


	7. Chapter 6

Author's Note: XDDDDDD God, I loved all of your reviews! Especially how everyone was so surprised with Axel being a virgin. XD God, those made my day. Also, I'm gonna take the time to answer some questions so, oi, here you go!

**Q: So Namine is gone for the summer... Where again? To find Sora & Roxas?**

A: Haha, like I'm going to tell that! Kidding, kidding. 'She's off Visiting Family' Suuurrreee.

**Q: Is Namine older or younger than Sora & Roxas?**

A: Older. Roxas and Sora are only 17/18. Namine is in college. Do the math. P

**Q: Does everyone in the...apartment...have troubled pasts?**

A: Mayyybbbeeee…. . -shifty eyes- No, not really. Just the people I feel like screwing up. XD

Also. I don't know if I made this clear, but Axel will probably not always be the uke. I think that in most good relationships, there should be a balance of control, so I don't really believe in top and bottom. It's likely their situations will switch, although I think Axel has the more submissive personality.

I don't know, I could be wrong, but it seemed to me, that, in the game, Axel really was the more emotional of the two, while Roxas was distant and cold, even when his best friend was 'dying' after he beat him. Axel seemed to be willing to do anything for Roxas, which really gave me the idea for a less possessive and secure Axel. I don't know, I could be wrong.

Important!!

Someone informed me that I was missing a chapter. I have no idea how this happened, but I fixed it. So… Oi. Thanks for telling me, I never would've seen it. P

First Point of View is… Namine. –Gasp!-

* * *

Let's just make this clear, ok? I am not, will not, and never have visited my parents after Sora and I escaped. It's just, well, an excuse. I mean, I can't really tell my friends I'm going off to meet the brother no one even knows I have, right?

Really, I kind of wish they did know about Sora. It was his idea that we should split up and go our separate ways. I know he felt so guilty about, well, leaving Roxas there. Roxas was more than his twin, to Sora; Roxas was this huge part of him. When Roxas got left behind… Sora just went crazy. But we both knew we couldn't go back to get him, or involve the authorities. If Dad found out that the authorities were coming, he would kill Roxas without a thought.

So all we could really do was keep an eye on the island, see if maybe Roxas left. That's all we could do; hope. Eventually, Sora and I decided we couldn't hope together, we couldn't watch the island together.

So where do I go over the summer? I go to a lighthouse tower by the beach. It's tall, and it's mine. It's near the town that I stayed in for those last few years of high school before I went to college with Axel and the others. That way, I can visit Kairi too, occasionally. I've sworn her to secrecy, because really, I'm supposed to be visiting the family I never talk about. Kairi knows about my family, though. She's my best friend, of course she knows. Even I couldn't keep the secret that long.

So, I sit in my 'tower' on the beach and watch the island, making sure there aren't any disturbances, making sure that just in case Roxas escaped, maybe Sora and I would be the ones to see him.

Normally I spend the time drawing, or sketching, sometimes reading. There isn't a whole lot to do, after all, up in my 'white fortress' watching the waves and hoping to see some sort of boat.

It's not that bad, really. After all, it's only three months out of the year that we can vigilantly hope for him to escape. I feel bad, so bad, all of the time that I can't just sit in the tower the entire year. I feel bad, because maybe he'd already left, and he's out there looking for us now. Sora says he hadn't left, though, the last time I saw him. Sora has this super magnifying pair of binoculars, so I figure he's right. I haven't seen Sora for a while, now, though. It's just too hard for him. Although he's Roxas's twin, I look more like Roxas than anyone else in the family.

Oh god. Now I'm going to start crying. It's so hard, being guilty. I feel like Sora and I condemned him to… to some sort of death. I don't even know where Sora is, anymore. All he does it call from random places. I never have him number, or his address. I know he blames me partly for not being able to save him, but more than that, he blames himself, the stupid git.

I-I just… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm his older sister, and because… because of Sora and I, he's going to live a life of eternal blackness, unless he takes his own life eventually. I wouldn't blame him, I think if I'd ever been used to the full extent as he was, I would've taken my life as well.

No one would blame him for his death. Actually, no one would probably care, aside from Sora and I. No one was ever able to love him like he deserved, all because of a stupid culture. I know Sora wishes he was never born, so maybe Roxas would've had an amazing life.

I don't know. Nothing's going to make this better, not even talking about it. I don't even know what to do anymore. I can't rationalize our leaving him. After all, we weren't even being hurt like him, so why did we leave? Because we were selfish, because we wanted something more than our stupid island, and because of that, Roxas is probably getting more hurt than ever.

I'm so sorry, Roxas. I should've been there for you. I should've cared more, instead of getting wrapped up in trivial things. I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry.

Because being sorry will never be enough to save you.

* * *

Axel POV

"Got any 7's?" Roxas asked, peering over his cards with that glint in his eyes that drove me crazy. I shook my head, and softly, but smirking, I whispered, "No, Roxy… I'm afraid you'll have to… GO FISH!"

A look of shock and anger flickered across the blonde's face as his yelled in agony. Oh, the horrors of having to go fish! Actually, I really do hate fishing. It's so boring, all you do is sit in a fucking boat and wait until a fish feels like eating something, and even then it'll probably be small and retarded, and really, what's the point?

Oh, right, I'm rambling. Sorry. I digress. Right, moving on.

"Axel," he whined, "Are you sure you don't have any 7s? Demyx doesn't either… So either you or Larxene is cheating."

I looked at him with pure shock and disgust. "Roxy-baby! Is that what you think of me? That I'm a cheater and a liar? I-I… I don't know what to say!" I whispered, mock-disappointed as my eyes will with alligator tears. He instantly looks flustered and nervous.

"N-no! That's not what I meant! I'm so sorry Axel! Really!" he paniced and I grinned, and take out two 7s.

"Oh, so, I guess if that's not what you meant, I can just keep these," I drawled slowly, and Larxene and I snicker evilly. Roxas's face turns red and he kicks me in the shin. Hard.

"Owwww!" I yelled, a large bruise forming on my leg. I scowl at him menacingly.

"You're a bastard," he mumbled and he grabbed my 7s. I just grinned cheekily and went on to take practically all of Demyx's cards, making him cry and run upstairs. Larxene and I laughed hysterically after that. Poor Demyx, probably running to call his new boyfriend, Zexion. I'm not surprised; really, he's got a new guy every other week. Poor man.

We finished the game, Roxas won, I came in a close second, and Larxene third. While Roxas went to go get some soda, I turned to Larxene.

"Hey, Larx, where's Marly? Shouldn't he be back from his convention yet?" I asked innocently, enjoying the look on Larxene's face, which went from embarrassment to anger. She scowled.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flower boy's staying late. Apparently the gardening convention went a few days longer. I swear, if he brings home any strange plants this time I'm going to-"

I cut her off, "-Use them in bed?" She actually blushed and mumbled something inaudible. I leaned towards her, cupping my ear.

"I said, don't be jealous because you can't get any around here, my little virgin," Larxene sneers right back. I lose my grin and scowled instead. There seemed to be a lot of scowling going on here, I noticed.

"Shut up. You're just jealous because I'm not going to lose mine to a guy with pink hair," I retorted, and there was a long, tense silence before we both broke out into laughter.

Yeah, we might mess around and tease each other, but Larxene's probably the best friend I've ever had, even though she does have many, many scary homicidal urges. Like this one time when I was supposed to take her out to a wedding and thought it was an amazing idea to cross dress instead. Hey, I thought I made a hilarious Drag-Queen, but after we got kicked out of the wedding… well, let's just say I'll never look at a toaster the same way ever again.

"So… you and blondie?" she asked, smirking. I blushed lightly, peering into the kitchen where Roxas was making some sort of pink smoothie. I nodded silently and Larxene's smirk grew larger. She giggled, which is actually extremely scary. I mean, you've never seen something as freaky as Larx giggling. I shivered from pure terror.

"So, Axel, you are still a virgin, right? I mean, with Blondie over here staying in your bed practically ever night for the last couple of weeks… you're still our little Virgo, aren't you?" Larxene practically shouted, and my face turned about as red as my hair.

"Shut up, Larx!" I whisper and move to cover her mouth but it's too late. In the kitchen, Roxas dropped his pink smoothie, although he caught it, and walked into the room. He was smirking, which was a mix between sexy and scary. Larxene looked amused and a little nervous at the same time.

"Oh, Axel, I forgot to ask, you are walking okay after last night, right? I was afraid I hurt you," Roxas said, smirking that evil sexy man smirk. Larxene turned a little red and sputtered out some nonsense while I blushed even redder.

"Roxas, shut up, you know we didn't do anything," I mumbled, reaching in my pockets to take out a lighter. It's a nervous habit of mine, flicking it when I'm embarrassed or irritated.

"Well, if that's what helps you fall asleep at night," Roxas grins, "Although I think other things might've helped last night too…."

That's it, I think, and I left the room, going into my room to paint. I'm not going to stay around just to get teased about my virginity. Plus I'm a little bit hurt. Although I can make sexual jokes, because I am definitely not a prude, I don't think sex should really be joked about in derogatory ways. I mean, to me, sex isn't just getting a good fuck; it's about love and honesty and sharing something important with someone else.

Oh god that sounded corny. Oh well, it's the truth. I probably got it from growing up in such a… conservative family. Still, it's my morals, my beliefs. I have the right to believe anything I want to, you know?

I've just started to paint when Roxas walked in and sat on my bed. I blushed, which made me feel really stupid, but I couldn't help it. I had no problems with people watching me paint, normally, but with Roxas it was different.

To think I'd only met him around a month, maybe a month and a half, ago. Time passed so quickly during the summer. We'd been having a lot of fun-no not like that, you sickos- and I was really starting to kind of, well, like having him around. Okay, maybe I more than liked having him around. Maybe I kind of loved having him around. Same difference, right?

Not so much.

After a few minutes of painting, I heard Roxas clear his throat. It was obvious he wanted to talk to me, but I was still a little upset. Ok, so shoot me, it's not my fault! Anyone would get upset if their boyfriend was telling their friends they're scored!

God I'm acting like such a girl. It totally sucks, too. I'm used to be in control of my relationships, the few I've had, but Roxas is very… controlling. He's aggressive, more than I am, and now I'm acting like a girl.

Stupid Roxas, if he wasn't around, I could totally be saving my masculinity.

After he cleared his throat a few more times, rather pathetically, I thought, I finally sighed and turned around wearily.

"What, Roxas?" I asked, looking at him on my bed. He looked uncomfortable and fidgety. I instantly felt bad, but I wasn't going to break down that easily. He had to know I wasn't some girl. I was a guy, not a girl. Most people get this weird perception that gay guys are actually like girls, and that they want to date guys like girls. I am totally against that. I am a real guy, who just happens to like dating guys. I'm not a girl, or anything close to it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad at me," he mumbles, looking at the ground. I hold back a smile. He looks so sad.

"Eh, I'm not mad. I just don't like that kind of joking, you know? I mean, sex is a little more important to me than it is to most people," I tell him, but I instantly feel horrible.

Poor Roxas. Sex has never been allowed to mean much to him. He's never been in control of that. God, I feel like such a bastard now. Roxas probably just wanted a good sexually situation to get rid of all of the bad ones he'd experienced, and I'd been a total jerk about it.

I got up from my painting station and sat down on the bed, throwing an arm around him. He looked surprised, and then bit his lip nervously. Haha, Roxy, who's the girl now?

"I'm sorry, that was stupid. I'm just not, you know, ready for that kind of thing yet, you know? I'm kinda… what's the damn word? Taking this slow, y'know? It doesn't mean we'll never… yeah. Right. I'll shut up now," I finished lamely. Roxas smiled softly and leaned into me. We didn't need words for him to tell me that was alright with me.

I felt his lips on my neck before I saw him. A soft blush rose in my cheeks, but I forced it down. Instead, I lifted his face, and without closing my eyes, I leaned in and kissed him, watching his pretty blue eyes from up close.

It started off gentle, but eventually we were rolling around on the bed, playing tongue pong. He tasted sweet, but I couldn't tell exactly what it was he tasted like. It wasn't cinnamon, strawberry, or smoke. It was just something purely Roxas, like his own brand. I sucked on his tongue, earning myself a delicious little moan, which I know caused me to smirk into the kisses.

I hate to say it, but all of my morals probably would've been flushed down the toilet if a certain blonde female hadn't walked in on us then and started screaming. I instantly jumped off of Roxas, or more, I pushed him off of me, and I know my face was in flames.

God, I really am the girl in this relationship, I thought, which was really pathetic because I wasn't the one who came into the relationship wearing a dress.

Not that Roxas in a dress wasn't sexy.

Because really, it was.

Right, shutting up.

Anyhow, Larxene took off running down the hall, screaming about there being "Too many Horny Gay Guys in one place, AHHHHH!" or something of that nature. Whatever, it wasn't like Larx even mattered, right?

Roxy and I just looked at each other sheepishly and the thing felt a little awkward. I looked back at my half done painting and he looked at the door. Tentatively, I felt him stand on his tiptoes, peck my lips, and run out the door, probably to hide in his room and watch television or something.

In the other room I heard Demyx moaning, probably having phone sex with Zex –hey that rhymed! - Or something of that nature. Downstairs Larxene was playing loud music and probably using the stripper pole. She took these weird classes that used stripper poles for exercize... I'm pretty sure Riku was out of the house, as he had been lately. I had a feeling he had been dating someone, but he wouldn't say anything when I asked.

But me, what did I do? I went back to painting my picture, a picture of a beautiful heart wrapped in thorns, floating above the water, surrounded in flames. Above the heart were two birds, flying together as they disappeared into the sunset.

But I was doing something else as well. I was grinned like a madman and touching my lips where the feeling of Roxas's lips still lingered, like an imprint on my memory and my heart…

God, I really was turning into a girl.

* * *

Author's Note: So, yeah, not a whole lot of action in this chapter, but I thought the story needed more light fun and silliness. It's not really supposed to be as dark as I ended up making it. The Next chapter has more plot developments.

…Oops?

Also… Shameless Advertising! I have another story I'm writing, called Bounce and the Art of Dying! Since it's actually helping me write chapters in this story, or at least keeping up my motivation to finish… you should read it?

Heehee?

Right.

Reviewers get cupcakes, marshmallows, and um… my eternal love?

-Crimson.


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